Late Feedback from TX Librarian MS3 Installment #1

Although MS4 Installment #1 is well underway, I found some of the feedback this librarian gave me on the MS3 version of Installment #1 interesting. Her comment about the book being visual is interesting because I hadn't realized how visually oriented my thought processes really are. Some of the things she points out, such as keeping track of the relationships between the characters, I'm not sure how to address. MS4 does bring the characterization of Elof2, Stefan, and Tova2, the main characters, out much stronger so that perhaps not knowing the history of Ty and Tyco at this point won't be such an issue.


I did read your book and I didn't like it as much as I really wanted to. I really think your book would make a great movie! It is so visual--a movie would make it much easier to keep up with the characters and the action.

Anyway, here is my two cents...

I did like and care about Stefan and Elof2. I liked the background information you gave about their family life and how they were treated by their families. That's really what made me care about them.

I have to admit I spent a lot of time lost about who was who, where they were and what they were seeing/observing. I felt like I needed a visual aid or some type of family tree to show relationships. I really did have a hard time keeping everyone straight. This was the complaint of several of the girls who tried to read it, they just couldn't track what was going on.

I felt that the characters Ty and Tyco had names that were too similar and that confused me. Of course, it's also possible that I'm an idiot....

Sometimes the dialogue didn't ring true to the characters--like when Ty and Tyco would use slang. It didn't seem to fit. I know they are young, but they didn't talk that way enough for it to seem natural for them.

The scientific explanations could have been less detailed. Somehow those got in the way of the story for me. Since it's science fiction, I could take more on faith and didn't need the longer explanations you gave because I then had to start analyzing what you were saying and it just didn't all make sense to me. I think less might be more on that.

I know this is a trilogy and more character development will follow, but I wanted to know more about Ty and Tyco. Towards the end of the book you did give some more info but it was almost too late for me. I wasn't invested in them as characters and I felt like I should have cared more about them than I did.

I would have liked a little more action throughout the book. The climax was good, but it was a long wait.

You have accomplished something I never could--writing a book and finishing it and then having the guts to submit it and put it out there for others to read and potentially criticize! I really admire you for that and wish you the best. I do believe the book has so much potential to be a great young adult book/movie, it's just not there for me yet.