Things have changed a lot since I was young (don't wheel me to the old folks home yet!)!
Okay, I have to admit that some of my writing can be somewhat dark (well, maybe a good deal more than somewhat). It's one of those genetic things. I didn't grow up in a dungeon or have assassin parents. I did write something in high school that sent an English teacher into shock and now a days would have caused 911 to get dialed. Don't worry, she got even with me. She ripped the writing out of my hands, so to speak, and without telling me, read it to 100, maybe 200 students. I don't remember how many for sure. There was also that thing where she submitted it to a publisher without asking, too. But other than that bit of trauma, pretty normal childhood otherwise.
Actually, I'm pretty squeamish when it comes to gory books or shocking violence. My daughter encouraged me to read Ender's Game recently (which I really enjoyed) but she gave me the caveat that it really is not a good example of a children's book because it was so violent. I was braced for the worst but still I read it. And I guess due to the author's good writing, perhaps it wasn't nearly as shocking as I expected. Still I worried because some people thought it might be a bit strong for some kids.
I worried because I am writing a long story right now (four part serial) that has a pretty brutal undercurrent in it, yet is targeted for 12+, maybe younger. By tweaking how experiential the story becomes I can control how violent the story seems, newspaper article containing something third hand or viewing the violence through the characters' eyes. Shifting scenes back and forth between those two throttles the violence, drama, and shock factor of the book. So I decided to go acquire some data on violence in current children's literature.
The first thing I tried was looking at a book called "Raven's Gate" which was a favorite of a kid in my target readership. The book is actually targeted for 10+. Ten or so pages into this book, I realized that if I had read the book when I was 10 years old, I would have had weeks of nightmares. Even as an adult, it just tweaked me the wrong way.
So I realized I needed more data to make a decision. Well I tried asking around. One of the best ways to create silence in a room or make someone online go dark is to ask them what they think the acceptable violence level is in a 10+ or 12+ novel. Part of it, I think, is that people don't really know the answer many times. The current trend seems to be to remove as many restrictions on kids as possible. Part of it too is that no author wants to risk being called a censor with the current anti-censorship campaign going on. Censorship is repugnant to most authors and so being called one would be about the most vile insult of all.
Still, how do you get the data? I looked around and found a site: http://www.commonsensemedia.com. They compile book ratings on how appropriate a book is for a targeted age group. So I did a search for books that were rated iffy for my targeted age group. The site not only has ratings but allows both parents and kids to comment on the book. The trend I noticed about iffy books is that kids will read a book, no matter how violent it gets, as long as it's a really good book. The more violent, the better the book has to be to compensate for the violence of the story. That trend seems to go down to age 10 for sure, age 9 in some kids.
In general, what really was required and appreciated by the kids was that the violence of the story fits the story line. The story is not gross just to be gross or violent just to lasso the few kids who measure the value of a book by how much blood is spilled. If the story is about a violent subject, then kids adverse to violence will not read it. If the story implies a mellow narrative and you include serious violence, the kid will be surprised and never trust or read you again. Ever.
So, unless you are deliberately trying to write a gory book, the guideline seems to be: the amount of violence to put in the book is the amount of violence that conveys the emotion of the story you are writing and nothing more violent than that. It's not a very satisfying measurement. But at least it is a measurement of some kind.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Increasing the Experiential Nature of Writing
As a new writer, everyday is a learning experience for me. I decided to share a little tidbit that I just picked up. I apologize to those experienced writers who may find this a kind of duh moment.
As I finished a 248,000 word manuscript, the first reaction of someone looking at all that paper might be, "Gee, were you verbose enough?" Surprisingly, the answer was "No!".
In trying to cram a very long story arc into a single book, I rushed in numerous places. I realized that, "This thing is getting way too long." I ended up taking the quick route, especially in the beginning, not taking the time to allow the reader to truly "experience" the story. This was never so apparent as when I took the story and started splitting it into a serial novel, about 4 installments (at this point in time). Okay, I have to admit at this point, that perhaps the kind senior editor at Brighter Books led me down the path a bit (imagine stubborn donkey with nose-ring being pulled).
The thing you need to know about the clips I am about to show you is that people in these clips are telepathic and can receive mental images via a computer called the Guardian. The stars at the beginning of the paragraph mean that they are receiving a mental image or are having a virtual experience. I apologize in advance for how long these clips are.
----------Original Clip-----
“Yeah, Teach,” answers Tyco.
Elof2 places his hands on the Guardian Interface and links.
* “Contact made with Elof2, Tyco, and Ty,” announces Guardian.
* “Guardian, show everyone the clip about hyperspace that I have prepared,” commands Elof2.
* “Are you sure this is wise, Elof2?” warns Guardian. “The clip is very intense and painful.”
* “Go ahead Guardian”.
Ty and Tyco begin to scream as if they are being slowly slaughtered by some animal.
* “End the clip, Guardian,” commands Elof2.
* “Confirmed Elof2.”
Everyone takes their hands off of the Guardian Interface. Tyco is badly shaken up and Ty is gently crying. Tyco’s chair floats up off the floor, moves over close to Ty and sets back down.
Elof2 watches the chair, somewhat surprised. “Well Tyco, that is a new talent.”
Tyco looks down surprised and says, “Huh, yeah, I guess it is.”
Tyco puts a hand on Ty’s shoulder. “Come on. Don’t wimp out on me now. It wasn’t really like it was happening to us.”
Ty, with tears on his face, says, “I felt with certainty that I was there. It hurt so badly. My skin was burning yet I was so cold. It was profoundly dark and lonely.”
“Yeah, it looked like smoke was coming up off my skin,” smirks Tyco.
-------End of Clip------
Unfortunately, it wasn't really happening for the reader either. It was a very efficient way of communicating what happened. But it was "newspaper'ish". After the fact news.
-----Corrected Clip-------
“Yeah, Teach,” answers Tyco.
(:::The connection, why will this event have an impact on the characters' lives :::)
Ty experiences a wave of fear every time he places his hands on the Guardian Interface. He fears that the faint tingling he feels will turn into excruciating pain as the device sucks the life out of him. He does not trust devices built by humans or their evolutionary descendents. One slight mistake on their part, in what seems to him to be primitive technology, could end his short life. It also worries Ty that he can feel Tyco’s aggression heightening every time he is stimulated by the device, as if Tyco is a lizard moving in for the kill. Ty hides his sudden startle as he feels the light caress of an invisible hand brushing his hair.
(::: The mystery to entice the reader to enter the experience :::)
* For a fraction of a second, invisible Stefan is linked to Ty and says, “It will be okay, little Ty; I know your story and it doesn’t end here. Hide my presence; Elof2 needs to build his confidence.”
(::: The experience from each character's point of view :::)
* “Contact made with Elof2, Tyco, and Ty,” announces Guardian.
* “Guardian, show everyone the clip about hyperspace that I have prepared,” commands Elof2.
* “Are you sure this is wise, Elof2?” warns Guardian. “The clip is very intense and painful.”
* “Go ahead Guardian”.
* Ty and Tyco feel they have been plunged into a frozen lake of total blackness, with only a faint glimmer of light illuminating them. Ty, having never experienced pain in his entire life, struggles and screams frantically, only to have the sound absorbed by the black void. Tyco, while crying from the pain, is paradoxically exhilarated by it, feeling a ferocious hunger to find and kill whatever is causing is causing him to hurt. Elof2, while struggling to maintain his composure, is being faced with his nightmare vividly as it appears that both Ty and Tyco are dissolving, with the mist rising from their bodies being sucked into hyperspace. He can bare it no longer.
* “End the clip, Guardian,” commands Elof2.
* "Confirmed, Elof2."
(::: How did the characters internalize the experience. What did it mean to them? :::)
(::: The clip from here on is the same as the original. :::)
----End of modified clip----
Naturally, when I wrote the modified clip for the serial, I didn't think of the steps I outlined. But since it was a particularly painful transition for me to learn how to write like this, I thought it was useful to go back and figure out what I had done in the end. I'm sure there are more experienced writers who have better ideas on how to do this. But I thought what I learned might serve as a stepping stone for those of us just learning the craft.
( For those who like cliffhangers, I haven't finished the serialization. So I am sure there will be more discoveries. )
As I finished a 248,000 word manuscript, the first reaction of someone looking at all that paper might be, "Gee, were you verbose enough?" Surprisingly, the answer was "No!".
In trying to cram a very long story arc into a single book, I rushed in numerous places. I realized that, "This thing is getting way too long." I ended up taking the quick route, especially in the beginning, not taking the time to allow the reader to truly "experience" the story. This was never so apparent as when I took the story and started splitting it into a serial novel, about 4 installments (at this point in time). Okay, I have to admit at this point, that perhaps the kind senior editor at Brighter Books led me down the path a bit (imagine stubborn donkey with nose-ring being pulled).
The thing you need to know about the clips I am about to show you is that people in these clips are telepathic and can receive mental images via a computer called the Guardian. The stars at the beginning of the paragraph mean that they are receiving a mental image or are having a virtual experience. I apologize in advance for how long these clips are.
----------Original Clip-----
“Yeah, Teach,” answers Tyco.
Elof2 places his hands on the Guardian Interface and links.
* “Contact made with Elof2, Tyco, and Ty,” announces Guardian.
* “Guardian, show everyone the clip about hyperspace that I have prepared,” commands Elof2.
* “Are you sure this is wise, Elof2?” warns Guardian. “The clip is very intense and painful.”
* “Go ahead Guardian”.
Ty and Tyco begin to scream as if they are being slowly slaughtered by some animal.
* “End the clip, Guardian,” commands Elof2.
* “Confirmed Elof2.”
Everyone takes their hands off of the Guardian Interface. Tyco is badly shaken up and Ty is gently crying. Tyco’s chair floats up off the floor, moves over close to Ty and sets back down.
Elof2 watches the chair, somewhat surprised. “Well Tyco, that is a new talent.”
Tyco looks down surprised and says, “Huh, yeah, I guess it is.”
Tyco puts a hand on Ty’s shoulder. “Come on. Don’t wimp out on me now. It wasn’t really like it was happening to us.”
Ty, with tears on his face, says, “I felt with certainty that I was there. It hurt so badly. My skin was burning yet I was so cold. It was profoundly dark and lonely.”
“Yeah, it looked like smoke was coming up off my skin,” smirks Tyco.
-------End of Clip------
Unfortunately, it wasn't really happening for the reader either. It was a very efficient way of communicating what happened. But it was "newspaper'ish". After the fact news.
-----Corrected Clip-------
“Yeah, Teach,” answers Tyco.
(:::The connection, why will this event have an impact on the characters' lives :::)
Ty experiences a wave of fear every time he places his hands on the Guardian Interface. He fears that the faint tingling he feels will turn into excruciating pain as the device sucks the life out of him. He does not trust devices built by humans or their evolutionary descendents. One slight mistake on their part, in what seems to him to be primitive technology, could end his short life. It also worries Ty that he can feel Tyco’s aggression heightening every time he is stimulated by the device, as if Tyco is a lizard moving in for the kill. Ty hides his sudden startle as he feels the light caress of an invisible hand brushing his hair.
(::: The mystery to entice the reader to enter the experience :::)
* For a fraction of a second, invisible Stefan is linked to Ty and says, “It will be okay, little Ty; I know your story and it doesn’t end here. Hide my presence; Elof2 needs to build his confidence.”
(::: The experience from each character's point of view :::)
* “Contact made with Elof2, Tyco, and Ty,” announces Guardian.
* “Guardian, show everyone the clip about hyperspace that I have prepared,” commands Elof2.
* “Are you sure this is wise, Elof2?” warns Guardian. “The clip is very intense and painful.”
* “Go ahead Guardian”.
* Ty and Tyco feel they have been plunged into a frozen lake of total blackness, with only a faint glimmer of light illuminating them. Ty, having never experienced pain in his entire life, struggles and screams frantically, only to have the sound absorbed by the black void. Tyco, while crying from the pain, is paradoxically exhilarated by it, feeling a ferocious hunger to find and kill whatever is causing is causing him to hurt. Elof2, while struggling to maintain his composure, is being faced with his nightmare vividly as it appears that both Ty and Tyco are dissolving, with the mist rising from their bodies being sucked into hyperspace. He can bare it no longer.
* “End the clip, Guardian,” commands Elof2.
* "Confirmed, Elof2."
(::: How did the characters internalize the experience. What did it mean to them? :::)
(::: The clip from here on is the same as the original. :::)
----End of modified clip----
Naturally, when I wrote the modified clip for the serial, I didn't think of the steps I outlined. But since it was a particularly painful transition for me to learn how to write like this, I thought it was useful to go back and figure out what I had done in the end. I'm sure there are more experienced writers who have better ideas on how to do this. But I thought what I learned might serve as a stepping stone for those of us just learning the craft.
( For those who like cliffhangers, I haven't finished the serialization. So I am sure there will be more discoveries. )
Sunday, August 15, 2010
The Avatar Effect
I am one who likes to push the envelope on whatever I am doing. I did that somewhat with this book. Writing a story where the characters can carry on multiple conversations simultaneously (telepathic and out-loud at the same time) was a bit of a challenge since people just can't do that. We may sit back listening to a cacophony of sounds from numerous simultaneous conversations, picking out a word here, a phrase there to remember. But to carry on multiple conversations at the same time, to feed data selectively from one conversation to another while they are going on, is just unimaginable. Yet everyday, computers do this very thing. Your computer is figures out what conversations can occur at the same time and freezes those conversations in time which can't proceed simultaneously. Working in the software industry, I got very familiar with this since one of my talents was visualize how all the programs (conversations) would interact and to track down problems with programs that "talked" out of turn.
Computers come from our minds, right? So how big a stretch is it that one day, perhaps a hundred thousand years or so from now, a living flesh mind will be born from us (a better human, hopefully) that can do the same thing. Our minds came from evolution and one would hope that perhaps evolution might eventually catch up with what we can imagine.
So, like watching the Avatar movie, riding along in this new kind of novel was a bit wild and exhilarating; when the movie/novel is over, there is a bit of a let down effect. Just as when that new and fantastically realized world disappeared off the silver screen and you suddenly realize you are sitting in a cold, dark theater with a bunch of old rotting popcorn scattered everywhere, I am feeling the let-down from finishing the novel. But unlike the movie, I doubt anyone will experience the same thing unless they actually write a novel themselves. It's a bit unique. The only good thing I can say, is that unlike the next 10-15 years it might take to produce the next Avatar, my road to bliss is a bit shorter. Perhaps I can spend a couple of months of research and fixing up all of the real life activities I abandoned during the year of writing. Then if I can be lucky enough to write some more, I can be off on another year to year and a half trek on my own private Avatar adventure.
So, novelists out there, have you experienced an Avatar let-down when you have finished your novel???
Computers come from our minds, right? So how big a stretch is it that one day, perhaps a hundred thousand years or so from now, a living flesh mind will be born from us (a better human, hopefully) that can do the same thing. Our minds came from evolution and one would hope that perhaps evolution might eventually catch up with what we can imagine.
So, like watching the Avatar movie, riding along in this new kind of novel was a bit wild and exhilarating; when the movie/novel is over, there is a bit of a let down effect. Just as when that new and fantastically realized world disappeared off the silver screen and you suddenly realize you are sitting in a cold, dark theater with a bunch of old rotting popcorn scattered everywhere, I am feeling the let-down from finishing the novel. But unlike the movie, I doubt anyone will experience the same thing unless they actually write a novel themselves. It's a bit unique. The only good thing I can say, is that unlike the next 10-15 years it might take to produce the next Avatar, my road to bliss is a bit shorter. Perhaps I can spend a couple of months of research and fixing up all of the real life activities I abandoned during the year of writing. Then if I can be lucky enough to write some more, I can be off on another year to year and a half trek on my own private Avatar adventure.
So, novelists out there, have you experienced an Avatar let-down when you have finished your novel???
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Chapter 4 Pass 2 Feedback
(This feedback is from the post 6th grade kid.)
The Saeshell Book of Time Chapter Feedback
Chapter: 4
Favorite character: Ty, because you can tell that what he is hiding is big.
Favorite part in chapter: Chapter was great, but I think I liked the middle of it all.
Feelings towards next chapter: I’m excited to read chapter 5 tonight, I’m trying extra hard to get everything done fast so I can go read in bed! Great job overall on everything so far.
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Pass 2 Chapter 3 Feedback
This is from the GT end of 6th grade kid.
Elof2, you can tell how he is getting closer to the kids.
Favorite part in chapter:
The chapter was so good; I can’t make a decision on which part was best.
Feelings towards next chapter:
Can’t wait! There was a perfect ending, and it makes me wonder what abilities Ty is hiding, and if it leads him to the “dark side.”
The Saeshell Book of Time Chapter Feedback
Chapter: 3
Favorite character: Elof2, you can tell how he is getting closer to the kids.
Favorite part in chapter:
The chapter was so good; I can’t make a decision on which part was best.
Feelings towards next chapter:
Can’t wait! There was a perfect ending, and it makes me wonder what abilities Ty is hiding, and if it leads him to the “dark side.”
Monday, May 31, 2010
Chapter 2 Pass 2 Feedback
GT end of 6th grader feedback. This feedback is for Chapter 2, Pass 2.
Chapter 2 feedback
Favorite character- They’re all great, but I think I still have to say Ty.
What I liked best about the chapter- The opening to Elof2’s life.
Next chapter- Excited to see how you take advantage of the opening to chapter 3…you have a lot of thinking room to your advantage!
Other feedback- I don’t have too many negative things to say, just that Ty and Tyco’s jokes and teasing are getting better and better, always have a chance to laugh at something. I can see many young teens enjoying this book.
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