Random Short Feedbacks

Feedback from a Northern California Private School On Installment #3
Demographic: 6th grade boy.

A fabulous book. Once again have you exceeded greatness. Such epic stories are riveting and interesting. I only have one request that you make this a series with more than 4 books.

[Don't worry, although The Saeshell Book of Time ends on the 4th installment, the series does not. The same characters continue on into a new story line. In fact, there are some hooks even in installment #1 that point to the next book (set of installments) in the series. It's too early to nail thing down totally yet, but at this moment in time I'm thinking the title for the next serial or novel on the series will be: "The Owl in the Forest". ]

Each installment gets more and more intense. I was beginning to get worried that maybe the intensity was getting too intense. So I asked the librarian to check with the kid and see what he thought.

He said it was not too intense or scary and that he’s enjoying each installment more and more.


Feedback on Installment #1 from a Minneapolis, MN Public Middle School: Demographic noted by teacher taking feedback.


6th grade girl: "It's not my kind of book." I asked her to explain. She reports, "I don't like books where they have to explain a whole world that doesn't really exist."

[Sounds like you might like biographies or historical fiction better.]

6th grade boy: "It is really jumping around a lot in the beginning. I am not sure what's going on."

[Sorry, it is a bit tough to get used to the time line changing in a book. In my next draft, I'm going to try and make it a little clearer up front why things jump. Maybe that will help. ]

Q&A with Middle School Reader

A middle school boy near Houston, TX in the early reader program sent me some questions as he was reading this weekend. It's interesting because sometimes the questions tell you more than anything else. I certainly thought of some revisions to make the novel clearer while I was exchanging email with him. He seems to like the novel so far.

Boy: What are the numbers after the characters names for?

Answer: The numbers after the names indicates that they are a modified clone of the original. For example, Elof died. His mind was saved and put into a new body, Elof2.
Paul25 is the 25th clone of the original Paul. There are multiple clones of the Pauls
alive at the same time.

[This is actually explained indirectly when Elof2 says he could be brought back as Elof3. But since this information is pretty important to understanding the novel, I should make it more explicit.]

Boy: When the book changes to Stefan's mom reading him the book, is it a flash back or is it really happening?

Answer: If you are talking about the beginning and end of chapter 1, then it's a matter of perspective. The Book of Time has written in it all of the past, present, and future. So when Stefan's mom reads the book to him in the beginning, she is reading Stefan the story of his future. So outside of her explicitly reading to him, the story is either the story being read to Stefan, or it's the story really happening and Stefan knows the future from when the book was read to him. But there are two subtle things. To get the distant future to be correct, the book may lie about the near future. So people who have read it, will have read what they needed to to make them act in ways that will allow the distant future to come true.

[As you can see, time can be complex in a novel involving time travel and people/living books monkeying with the time line. I will have to explain time flow a bit better in the next draft.]

Why I Am Writing the Children of Sophista Book Series

Your brain has different regions which perform different functions essential to you functioning as a human being. If one aspect of your brain fails to perform in some minor way, you cannot function as you were meant to. You slowly descend the rungs of human happiness and well being until you reach a place that is very unpleasant. You take some solstice in being able to still function in some way. You begin to itemize the things you can still do.

The mind of humanity functions in much the same way. There is not one kind of person, a "correct person", coming off the assembly line. Because the mind of humanity, like the human brain itself, needs different parts that process different kinds of information or perform different tasks. All these parts must work together or the brain of humanity loses cognitive function. In short, we start trying to figure out what we still can do because the brain of humanity is going senile.

One of the parts of the brain of humanity is a gifted person. There are not a lot of gifted people. It's not because they are a fluke or a mistake. The appropriate number required for the brain of humanity to function are created. Just like any other part in the brain of humanity, they take joy in performing their function and seek to enjoy their lives.

Imagine for a moment, that you were the person in say the movie Iron Man, flying around in a rocket propelled suit. It's an exhilarating ride. Who wouldn't want to go flying around in a rocket power suit that has a fancy computer display telling you all kinds of information about every thing you chose to look at. Imagine you were a kid flying around in that rocket suit. Cool huh?

Now imagine not being able to take that suit off ever in your entire life. You still have the need for friends. You still have the need to share what you have learned. You want to hear what your friends have learned. And even if you already know some bit knowledge or fact they have discovered, you listen patiently. Because they are your friend and you care about them. But you are wearing a rocket suit. They know it and you know it. It's a bit odd, everyone has differences, so we, who are part of the body humanity, are expected to deal with it.

Of course, some things are bit difficult to explain. Like the fact that the suit never shuts off. So although your friend can't see it, the computer display has just dissected him and is showing all his guts in detail. You and your friends look at cool things together. But that display keeps right on working. You both see the beauty or neat stuff. But the display has additionally dissected how whatever you have looked at works and how it relates to its surroundings. It is so interesting but it is so weird too. Sometimes you are not sure what to make of what the suit is telling you.

Like most other kids, you like to read books for fun. It helps if the book in some way relates to the trials you are facing growing up. You share many of the same trials as your friends. But the rocket suit also adds some of its own. It is very disconcerting to have your friends dissected on the display. They are your friends. You question why did you have to be born with a rocket suit. What is the meaning of life when you are confined to a rocket suit. So many questions, your mind never stops.

The Children of Sophista is a book series that tries to explore in an entertaining way what life in the rocket suit is like. It is a book series that encourages gifted kids to probe deeper into the meaning of their lives. It does not shy away from life's big questions but asks them. Gifted teens can finally have a book that talks about their issues. And non-gifted teens can not only achieve a greater understanding of the big questions about what is the nature of life itself, but can understand the true nature of living in the rocket suit.

Feedback on Installment #2 6th grade boy

It looks like I have one kid that's a fan.

Demographic: 6th grade boy Northern California middle school, not related, blind (anonymous) feedback.

Installment #2 Feedback

One again you amaze me with your wonderful stories and vividly wonderful characters. If you keep on going with this series you will undoubtedly become a famous author.

More Blind Feedback on Installment #1

Demographic: Middle school girl in TX
Blind feedback because I have no direct contact with the person nor do I know who they are. A librarian proxies this for me.

I liked the beginning because I'd never seen anything like that before (how the book was "talking" to you) but I think the beginning of the book was confusing, and it would help if it told a little more about the character's feelings. Another thing you could do to make kids want to read the book more is change the title to something cooler and maybe a little shorter. But, in general, I think what the book is about is pretty interesting.

Volunteer Editor's Favorite Character

After reading half way through installment #2,
here is what the volunteer editor has to say about
her favorite character:

I think if I have a favorite character it is Paul25. He is the smartest, most innovative and creative, powerful but funny, loving, emotionally attached to others and Earth creatures, independent thinking, and isn't afraid to take chances to help people or the situation or to achieve his ultimate goal.